I have been told that the first half of our life is often focused on the goal of trying to be successful. The second half we often shift our focus in an effort to become significant. Today I turn 40 and technically begin the second half. I am on top of the hill, so they say, about to make my way over the hill. And to be honest...I'm excited.
However, I understand all too well this idea of wanting to be significant. I considered this thought just this morning. It doesn't seem to me that the desire to be significant is bad desire in and of itself. The key seems to be in whose eyes you desire to be significant.
All too often, I find myself desiring to be significant in the eyes of others - to impress people, to be respected, to prove that I am somebody important. And not just anybody. I want to be somebody important in the eyes of my boys, somebody to be respected in the eyes of my wife, somebody cherished in the eyes of my friends. That doesn't seem all that bad does it?
It does if my life becomes a stage upon which I perform to gain satisfaction from the acceptance of those in the audience. If I am looking for the applause of significance from family and friends, I am destined to be disappointed...so will they.
However, if my significance is found in Christ alone. If I am willing to become lesser, so that He might be greater. Now I have something that promises to fulfill both myself and those whom I love most. When I find my significance in Christ, my audience of One, my love for others will be mutually satisfying because it will be an outflow of the love of Christ. That is a well that will not run dry and a spring of eternally refreshing water.
I came across a prayer this week that I desire to make the prayer this "second half" of my life. A prayer of significance found only in my surrender to God. I have changed a few words to make it my own. Lord, hear my prayer:
"Lord, I give myself to You, whatever it may mean. Take every aspect of my life and use me for Your kingdom to glorify Your name. I'm not here on earth to do my own thing, to seek my own fulfillment, or my own glory. I'm not here to indulge my flesh, to increase my possessions, to impress people, to be popular, to prove I'm somebody important, or to promote myself. I'm not here even to be relevant or successful by human standards. I'm here to please You, to fulfill Your plans, to serve Your church.
To live like this, I surrender myself to You, to know You, to love You, to honor You, to obey You, and to grow in our holy relationship made possible by Your greatest sacrifice. I desire to become a person who lives and grows in reverent awe of You.
I'll do anything that you want me to do because I know you will lead me; go anywhere you want me to go since I know you will go with me; and say anything you want me to say because I know you will fill me. My trust is in no one else but You alone.
Father, if you want to use me in a way that I'm not used to, I yield myself to that. Today I affirm my love for you Jesus, and I choose to live and minister under Your control and in Your way. I trust that You will not do for me what I must do, but You will also not let me do what only You can do. Holy Spirit teach me, guide me, empower me for Your good and for Your glory. Amen"
Saturday, September 8, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
Religious Terrorist
I heard this phrase for the first time this weekend during Sunday school. It was a term used to describe the religious zealots who too easily inflict devastating harm in the name of "holiness". I’m not talking about the kind of zealots who strap bombs to their chest and walk into a crowded mall. No - those are obvious villains whose crimes are undeniable. The ones I am talking about are a more subtle form of terrorism which is socially acceptable within most Christian circles.
They are killers of freedom and grace, crushing their victims under the weight of legalistic convictions. They hurl stones of condemnation when their philosophy of faith is not adopted. They walk proudly as those who should be commended for their courageous stand for truth. Self proclaimed "Defenders of the Faith" - or so they think.
The term came during a prayer request as a member of the class described a situation where a family had been hurt by the church on more than one occasion and there was concern that the children would grow up bitter towards God and His church. We all prayed for the unfortunate situation in hopes that the children would be able to rise out of the ashes of suffering and disappointment to trust in a God they have only vaguely witnessed in the Christian community.
I found it interesting that the passage of scripture we studied that particular morning was 1 Corinthians 5. This section of Paul’s letter describes a situation of immorality in the Corinthian church and the question from the teacher was, “Why is it important to address situations like these in the church?”
Without hesitation, the class responded with appropriate answers of protection for the church and the importance of an undefiled Christian witness. The discussion stimulated more questions about what should receive church discipline and if there was a “list” of sins worthy of such vigilant confrontation. A commentary on the text suggests that “public sin must be publicly judged and condemned”.
Although I would not deny the thought presented in this Sunday discussion, I would also suggest it is only half right. And to gravitate to only one side of this equation is to stir the rumblings of a terrorist camp.
We are to love God with all our heart soul and mind but also to love our neighbor as ourselves. Let’s protect the church but let’s also be a refuge to its people. The problem of the Corinthian church was more of a problem with the church itself than it was the issue of immorality. Immorality existed because the church was unwillingly to purposefully engage in a life of transparency and devotion among its members.
How can any of us remain pure and holy before God if we are not purposefully engaged in eachother’s lives for Christ’s sake? Perhaps the reason the man in question had slid down the slippery slope of lust was because no one was willing to extend the hand of brotherly love and accountability along the way. If this is the case, the church should bear the weight of the blame.
“He should be ashamed”, we might say. No, I suggest we are the ones who should be ashamed.
So go love on someone! Find a person who is broken and bruised. The most difficult part won’t be finding them. The difficult part will be mustering the courage and willingness to do something about it.
May we seek to be a church that holds the balance of Jesus’ instruction. We should have a holy zeal to love God with all our heart. But this love should motivate us to love His people with the same devotion He demonstrated in His humble sacrifice on the cross.
Today, choose to put down your stone of condemnation and find someone who needs the open hand of grace and love. Be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God." (James 1:19-20)
They are killers of freedom and grace, crushing their victims under the weight of legalistic convictions. They hurl stones of condemnation when their philosophy of faith is not adopted. They walk proudly as those who should be commended for their courageous stand for truth. Self proclaimed "Defenders of the Faith" - or so they think.
The term came during a prayer request as a member of the class described a situation where a family had been hurt by the church on more than one occasion and there was concern that the children would grow up bitter towards God and His church. We all prayed for the unfortunate situation in hopes that the children would be able to rise out of the ashes of suffering and disappointment to trust in a God they have only vaguely witnessed in the Christian community.
I found it interesting that the passage of scripture we studied that particular morning was 1 Corinthians 5. This section of Paul’s letter describes a situation of immorality in the Corinthian church and the question from the teacher was, “Why is it important to address situations like these in the church?”
Without hesitation, the class responded with appropriate answers of protection for the church and the importance of an undefiled Christian witness. The discussion stimulated more questions about what should receive church discipline and if there was a “list” of sins worthy of such vigilant confrontation. A commentary on the text suggests that “public sin must be publicly judged and condemned”.
Although I would not deny the thought presented in this Sunday discussion, I would also suggest it is only half right. And to gravitate to only one side of this equation is to stir the rumblings of a terrorist camp.
We are to love God with all our heart soul and mind but also to love our neighbor as ourselves. Let’s protect the church but let’s also be a refuge to its people. The problem of the Corinthian church was more of a problem with the church itself than it was the issue of immorality. Immorality existed because the church was unwillingly to purposefully engage in a life of transparency and devotion among its members.
How can any of us remain pure and holy before God if we are not purposefully engaged in eachother’s lives for Christ’s sake? Perhaps the reason the man in question had slid down the slippery slope of lust was because no one was willing to extend the hand of brotherly love and accountability along the way. If this is the case, the church should bear the weight of the blame.
“He should be ashamed”, we might say. No, I suggest we are the ones who should be ashamed.
So go love on someone! Find a person who is broken and bruised. The most difficult part won’t be finding them. The difficult part will be mustering the courage and willingness to do something about it.
May we seek to be a church that holds the balance of Jesus’ instruction. We should have a holy zeal to love God with all our heart. But this love should motivate us to love His people with the same devotion He demonstrated in His humble sacrifice on the cross.
Today, choose to put down your stone of condemnation and find someone who needs the open hand of grace and love. Be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God." (James 1:19-20)
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Cotton Pickin' Weeds
It has been a few weeks now, but the memory still fresh. The family was off for one of the rare extended weekend trips to the lake. We had been looking forward to this trip for a while as we would be joined by Kerry (one of my tri brothers in the picture) and his family. Our plan was to leave on Thursday early afternoon to get to the lake house in order to set things up for our friends who would be traveling in later that night. I was pulling the boat with my truck and we were loaded down with all the essentials of a fun trip to the lake.
As we passed through one of the first small towns, the two lane road was down to one due to construction. I began to hear an unusual noise. Thump-thump-thump-thump. It sounded like my tire had an object stuck in it. They were new tires so I assumed a rock had wedged inside the tread. I pulled over to investigate and everything looked good.
We got back on the road and the noise seemed to dissipate. Yet, after traveling another 30 miles into the middle of nowhere, the noise resumed and this time it grew louder and louder. Not only that, the truck began to vibrate and shake. Knowing something was definitely wrong, I put my foot on the brake to pull over. However, my anti-lock brakes had kicked in and I had minimal braking power. We eased over to a stop and the smell of smoke filled the cabin of the truck.
I get out to investigate to find my right front tire at about a 45 degree angle. I thought to myself, "That's not normal!". I reached down to remove the hubcap only to be singed by the extreme heat that had turned my wheel into a hot iron skillet. Trying to figure out what might be the problem, I considered the brake job I recently had done or the tires I had rotated just a few days prior. In a panic, I call my mechanic friend and fellow elder who drove 40 miles to give us a hand.
When he arrived, his assessment was quick and clear..."You're not going anywhere. I'll call a tow truck."
It's the middle of the afternoon in the middle of nowhere, my truck is filled with luggage, food and toys for the weekend and we are not going anywhere. This can't be true!
It is true. So we unhook the boat, unload everything (and I do mean everything) out of my truck and onto the side of the road. We looked like a gypsy family who had struck it rich!
Not wanting to give up on our rare weekend away, we called my brother who agreed to let us come back into town and get his suburban. We couldn't leave everything unattended, so Teri went back with my friend to pick up a suburban and I stayed with our stuff at the side of the road along with our 2 boys (2 and 7).
What transpired was a 3 hour delay, on a July West Texas afternoon, in the middle of a cotton field.
"Are you sad?", my sensitive oldest son would ask. "Maybe a little." I would respond. "But we have so much to be thankful for too. After all, it's not raining (I had a flashback to the Young Frankenstein movie at this point just waiting for a cloud to burst open in a downpour)."
What would follow was nice time of reflection with my sons about all that we were thankful for despite the fact that we were waiting for help in the middle of a cotton field. Yet, as thankful as we were, we still had 2 more hours to kill. So we played hide and seek in the cotton field. We threw dirt clods in the cotton field. And best of all, we pulled weeds in the cotton field.
My oldest was the one who discovered it. After pulling his first weed, he exclaimed, "Dad, try pulling a weed. It really does make you feel better!" So weed after weed, we made our way through the cotton field seeing who was strong enough to pull the biggest weed. Even my 2 year old got into the game and did quite well.
A few weeds, a few games of hide and seek, a few rock hunts and 3 hours had passed. The suburban pulled up and we were off to what would be a great weekend with friends.
Almost $1000.00 later, my truck was repaired as good as new. My family was safe and we had great memories with our friends.
How easy it was for me to be lost in the discouragement of the mess we were in. Ah, the gift of children! Those who remind us that pulling weeds actually makes you feel better. The reminder that as bad as the circumstance might be, we can usually make a long list of what we should be thankful for amidst the difficulties in which we find ourselves. And in the end, you can still pack up your stuff and move on down the road to better times.
One of the many lessons learned from my children.
As we passed through one of the first small towns, the two lane road was down to one due to construction. I began to hear an unusual noise. Thump-thump-thump-thump. It sounded like my tire had an object stuck in it. They were new tires so I assumed a rock had wedged inside the tread. I pulled over to investigate and everything looked good.
We got back on the road and the noise seemed to dissipate. Yet, after traveling another 30 miles into the middle of nowhere, the noise resumed and this time it grew louder and louder. Not only that, the truck began to vibrate and shake. Knowing something was definitely wrong, I put my foot on the brake to pull over. However, my anti-lock brakes had kicked in and I had minimal braking power. We eased over to a stop and the smell of smoke filled the cabin of the truck.
I get out to investigate to find my right front tire at about a 45 degree angle. I thought to myself, "That's not normal!". I reached down to remove the hubcap only to be singed by the extreme heat that had turned my wheel into a hot iron skillet. Trying to figure out what might be the problem, I considered the brake job I recently had done or the tires I had rotated just a few days prior. In a panic, I call my mechanic friend and fellow elder who drove 40 miles to give us a hand.
When he arrived, his assessment was quick and clear..."You're not going anywhere. I'll call a tow truck."
It's the middle of the afternoon in the middle of nowhere, my truck is filled with luggage, food and toys for the weekend and we are not going anywhere. This can't be true!
It is true. So we unhook the boat, unload everything (and I do mean everything) out of my truck and onto the side of the road. We looked like a gypsy family who had struck it rich!
Not wanting to give up on our rare weekend away, we called my brother who agreed to let us come back into town and get his suburban. We couldn't leave everything unattended, so Teri went back with my friend to pick up a suburban and I stayed with our stuff at the side of the road along with our 2 boys (2 and 7).
What transpired was a 3 hour delay, on a July West Texas afternoon, in the middle of a cotton field.
"Are you sad?", my sensitive oldest son would ask. "Maybe a little." I would respond. "But we have so much to be thankful for too. After all, it's not raining (I had a flashback to the Young Frankenstein movie at this point just waiting for a cloud to burst open in a downpour)."
What would follow was nice time of reflection with my sons about all that we were thankful for despite the fact that we were waiting for help in the middle of a cotton field. Yet, as thankful as we were, we still had 2 more hours to kill. So we played hide and seek in the cotton field. We threw dirt clods in the cotton field. And best of all, we pulled weeds in the cotton field.
My oldest was the one who discovered it. After pulling his first weed, he exclaimed, "Dad, try pulling a weed. It really does make you feel better!" So weed after weed, we made our way through the cotton field seeing who was strong enough to pull the biggest weed. Even my 2 year old got into the game and did quite well.
A few weeds, a few games of hide and seek, a few rock hunts and 3 hours had passed. The suburban pulled up and we were off to what would be a great weekend with friends.
Almost $1000.00 later, my truck was repaired as good as new. My family was safe and we had great memories with our friends.
How easy it was for me to be lost in the discouragement of the mess we were in. Ah, the gift of children! Those who remind us that pulling weeds actually makes you feel better. The reminder that as bad as the circumstance might be, we can usually make a long list of what we should be thankful for amidst the difficulties in which we find ourselves. And in the end, you can still pack up your stuff and move on down the road to better times.
One of the many lessons learned from my children.
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
True Confession
What follows is a position paper I wrote while preparing for a recent sermon. The conclusions represent the conclusions of the elders of MPC on this subject. I continue to learn and be amazed at God's grace and love toward us. This topic is just one in a long list of examples.
Church tradition has addressed the application of confession in the life of a believer in a variety of ways. Some suggest it has no application for the believer because of the complete forgiveness found through faith in Jesus Christ. Others suggest just the opposite and go as far as to say that God has granted church leaders with ability to remit sins and confession should therefore be a consistent practice within the church in order to maintain a righteous standing before God. With such extremes in opinion, it is important to understand what scripture has to say about this topic.
Perhaps the most common text used in the discussion of this topic is 1 John 1:9. It is in this letter than John writes to 2nd and 3rd generation Christians within the context of growing false teaching in order that they may be encouraged in the promise of God and the hope of their salvation (1 John 5:13). However, the corruption of the Gospel message has created confusion and so John begins his letter with the express desire to bring clarity for those who have trusted in Jesus Christ as Savior.
To do so, John draws on the use of symbolic language to make his point clear. In this letter, he contrasts truth and lie by using the symbols of light and darkness. This usage is common for John and can be found throughout his writings (John 1:5, John 3:19, John 8:12, John 12:35, John 12:46, 1 John 1:5, 1 John 1:6, 1 John 2:8, 1 John 2:9, 1 John 2:11). In each case, John uses the term darkness to describe the realm of Satan and his mission of deceit among mankind. Light, on the other hand, represents the holiness and purity of God. Jesus himself used this same language when he said, “I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in darkness, but will have the Light of life” (John. 8:12).
Beginning in verse 5 of his letter, John describes the attributes of the light (1 John 1:5, 7, 9; 2:1-2) which he then contrasts with the darkness (1 John 1:6, 8, 10). This pattern continues through the end of this chapter as John seeks to clarify truth amidst the lies being proclaimed by the false teachers. Understanding this pattern of comparison and contrast is important in the accurate interpretation of 1 John 1:9.
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).
The term confess literally means “to agree”. Thus, in the context of this verse, it means to agree with God regarding the existence of sin exposed by the light. Additionally, the grammar of the word “confess” indicates a continuous action. Therefore, it is not one single act of confession, but a habit or lifestyle of confession for the person who walks in the light.
For this reason, 1 John 1:9 is not a cause-effect statement suggesting only “if” we confess our sin will we then receive forgiveness for of sin. Instead, it is a comparison and contrast between those who walk in the light and those who walk in the darkness.
John says, if you walk in darkness, you will ignore the reality of sin in your life and you will have nothing to confess. Yet, if you walk in the light, you will recognize the sin revealed by the light because of the fellowship you have with your Savior and as a result, you will confess.
Confession is a defining characteristic for a person of faith. If you trust in Jesus alone as Savior, your life will be characterized by the presence of confession. In contrast, the person who walks in darkness, the one who does not admit to sin – He will not live a life of confession.
Forgiveness, as John instructs us, is not based on the act of confession. It exists because, and only because, of the faithfulness and righteousness of God. Because GOD is faithful and just, the saint who sins is forgiven and cleansed of all unrighteousness!
Church tradition has addressed the application of confession in the life of a believer in a variety of ways. Some suggest it has no application for the believer because of the complete forgiveness found through faith in Jesus Christ. Others suggest just the opposite and go as far as to say that God has granted church leaders with ability to remit sins and confession should therefore be a consistent practice within the church in order to maintain a righteous standing before God. With such extremes in opinion, it is important to understand what scripture has to say about this topic.
Perhaps the most common text used in the discussion of this topic is 1 John 1:9. It is in this letter than John writes to 2nd and 3rd generation Christians within the context of growing false teaching in order that they may be encouraged in the promise of God and the hope of their salvation (1 John 5:13). However, the corruption of the Gospel message has created confusion and so John begins his letter with the express desire to bring clarity for those who have trusted in Jesus Christ as Savior.
To do so, John draws on the use of symbolic language to make his point clear. In this letter, he contrasts truth and lie by using the symbols of light and darkness. This usage is common for John and can be found throughout his writings (John 1:5, John 3:19, John 8:12, John 12:35, John 12:46, 1 John 1:5, 1 John 1:6, 1 John 2:8, 1 John 2:9, 1 John 2:11). In each case, John uses the term darkness to describe the realm of Satan and his mission of deceit among mankind. Light, on the other hand, represents the holiness and purity of God. Jesus himself used this same language when he said, “I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in darkness, but will have the Light of life” (John. 8:12).
Beginning in verse 5 of his letter, John describes the attributes of the light (1 John 1:5, 7, 9; 2:1-2) which he then contrasts with the darkness (1 John 1:6, 8, 10). This pattern continues through the end of this chapter as John seeks to clarify truth amidst the lies being proclaimed by the false teachers. Understanding this pattern of comparison and contrast is important in the accurate interpretation of 1 John 1:9.
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).
The term confess literally means “to agree”. Thus, in the context of this verse, it means to agree with God regarding the existence of sin exposed by the light. Additionally, the grammar of the word “confess” indicates a continuous action. Therefore, it is not one single act of confession, but a habit or lifestyle of confession for the person who walks in the light.
For this reason, 1 John 1:9 is not a cause-effect statement suggesting only “if” we confess our sin will we then receive forgiveness for of sin. Instead, it is a comparison and contrast between those who walk in the light and those who walk in the darkness.
John says, if you walk in darkness, you will ignore the reality of sin in your life and you will have nothing to confess. Yet, if you walk in the light, you will recognize the sin revealed by the light because of the fellowship you have with your Savior and as a result, you will confess.
Confession is a defining characteristic for a person of faith. If you trust in Jesus alone as Savior, your life will be characterized by the presence of confession. In contrast, the person who walks in darkness, the one who does not admit to sin – He will not live a life of confession.
Forgiveness, as John instructs us, is not based on the act of confession. It exists because, and only because, of the faithfulness and righteousness of God. Because GOD is faithful and just, the saint who sins is forgiven and cleansed of all unrighteousness!
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Faith the Size of a Mustard Seed
A few short weeks ago, my workplace experienced the tragedy of a 29 year old wife and mom who died suddenly and unexpectedly. In fact, she and her family had returned from a softball game and ice cream, the kids were tucked in bed and her husband was off to shower. When he returned, she lie on the floor and she would not recover from the apparent heart attack related the the birth of her second child just 2 weeks prior.
Yesterday, I went to visit a friend who is in his mid 40s. His wife in her late 30s. They, like my wife and I, had great difficulty in being able to have children. In fact, like us, they were told it was not possible. That all changed a little over 5 months ago when they were overwhelmed with joy because of the surprising news that the impossible had become reality. They were pregnant. I remember seeing my friend in the cafeteria at work and just praising God for their miracle. I was so happy for my friend and his wife.
Last week, however, overwhelming joy turned to overwhelming grief. The child they had carried for over 5 months would not make it through the premature birth alive. They held their beautiful, yet lifeless child - examined his features and dreamed of what life would have been like had he lived. I was deeply grieved for my friend and his wife. They lost a child they never had a chance to know.
Why in the world do things like this happen? These are tragedies beyond explanation. No answer seems satisfying. Sure, we live in a sin cursed world and these tragedies simply reflect and give a penetrating example of the power and corruption of the enemy. Life in God's perfect garden and the life we have hope for in heaven does not include such tragedies. There will be no sickness and death. They only exist in this world and they only exist because of the curse of sin on God's perfect creation.
As true as that may be, it does not satisfy the grieving heart of those who experience the tragedy. How do they carry on? The burden of grief is so heavy it feels like it is more than you can possibly bear. It will be a miracle if they survive!
As I left my friends house, I thought of the verse where Jesus described the amazing things we could do if we only had the faith of a mustard seed. Today, however, I understood this verse in a different light.
Perhaps the greatest miracle during such terrible tragedies is the fact that people do persevere. Somehow, with time, they survive. They will never be the same after having lost a spouse or a child, but God does find a way to restore their soul. Considering the gravity of the loss...that is a miracle that makes moving mountains a cheap parlor trick.
And the miracle occurs because of a faith so small it is almost imperceptable. Beneath the questions of "Why God?", "How could you let this happen?", "How will I raise children on my own?"' "This is not how it is supposed to be?".
Beneath all these gut wrenching questions is a faith...a hope, that lingers. That part of us that says, "I have no where else to turn. If I can't have faith and hope in you Lord Jesus, I have nothing at all. This is all I have to give."
It is a mustard seed faith and it is all it takes. From there, God can gently, in grace and mercy, mend the broken heart. Slowly, over time, He restores the grieving soul.
All He needs is faith the size of a mustard seed, and He will move mountains - He will do the impossible in our lives.
Praise God for His indescribable gifts of mercy, love and grace.
Yesterday, I went to visit a friend who is in his mid 40s. His wife in her late 30s. They, like my wife and I, had great difficulty in being able to have children. In fact, like us, they were told it was not possible. That all changed a little over 5 months ago when they were overwhelmed with joy because of the surprising news that the impossible had become reality. They were pregnant. I remember seeing my friend in the cafeteria at work and just praising God for their miracle. I was so happy for my friend and his wife.
Last week, however, overwhelming joy turned to overwhelming grief. The child they had carried for over 5 months would not make it through the premature birth alive. They held their beautiful, yet lifeless child - examined his features and dreamed of what life would have been like had he lived. I was deeply grieved for my friend and his wife. They lost a child they never had a chance to know.
Why in the world do things like this happen? These are tragedies beyond explanation. No answer seems satisfying. Sure, we live in a sin cursed world and these tragedies simply reflect and give a penetrating example of the power and corruption of the enemy. Life in God's perfect garden and the life we have hope for in heaven does not include such tragedies. There will be no sickness and death. They only exist in this world and they only exist because of the curse of sin on God's perfect creation.
As true as that may be, it does not satisfy the grieving heart of those who experience the tragedy. How do they carry on? The burden of grief is so heavy it feels like it is more than you can possibly bear. It will be a miracle if they survive!
As I left my friends house, I thought of the verse where Jesus described the amazing things we could do if we only had the faith of a mustard seed. Today, however, I understood this verse in a different light.
Perhaps the greatest miracle during such terrible tragedies is the fact that people do persevere. Somehow, with time, they survive. They will never be the same after having lost a spouse or a child, but God does find a way to restore their soul. Considering the gravity of the loss...that is a miracle that makes moving mountains a cheap parlor trick.
And the miracle occurs because of a faith so small it is almost imperceptable. Beneath the questions of "Why God?", "How could you let this happen?", "How will I raise children on my own?"' "This is not how it is supposed to be?".
Beneath all these gut wrenching questions is a faith...a hope, that lingers. That part of us that says, "I have no where else to turn. If I can't have faith and hope in you Lord Jesus, I have nothing at all. This is all I have to give."
It is a mustard seed faith and it is all it takes. From there, God can gently, in grace and mercy, mend the broken heart. Slowly, over time, He restores the grieving soul.
All He needs is faith the size of a mustard seed, and He will move mountains - He will do the impossible in our lives.
Praise God for His indescribable gifts of mercy, love and grace.
Monday, June 25, 2007
It's Hard to Believe!
It's hard to believe that 3 years ago, I walked over with my friend Andy to watch the Buffalo Springs Lake Triathlon. I remember being amazed at the electricity of the event, the mass of people, the hundreds of bikes stacked up in the transition area, the sea of swimmers in the water, the music - the whole thing was something to behold.
At that time, doing a triathlon was not even a thought in my mind. In fact, I remember telling my friend Andy, "I am amazed that these athletes can do this. I can't imagine ever doing anything like this."
Well, who knew that only 2 years later, I would be experiencing the electricity of the event, stacking my bike in the transition area, finding myself in the sea of swimmers and actually competing in the event. It's even hard for me to believe.
The highlight of my day came when my friend Andy, who I started doing triathlons with 2 years ago, showed up at the event. He was not able to participate and had planned to be out of town. To my surprise, as I was getting my transition area set up, he walks up and wishes me luck. Needless to say, I was very nervous at the time, but the unexpected visit of a good friend put a smile on my face that was there most of the day (only to disappear at points to be described later).
I really owe a lot to my friend Kerry who convinced me just one week before the race that I need to do it. I had decided that I would wait another year because the previous 3 weeks of training were not as I had hoped. I had the flu, followed by time in Dallas where I spent most every day in the library, and then there was nothing I could do the week before. But Kerry reminded me that I had come too far not to finish and that with all the training over the previous 10 months, the last 3 weeks would not make a big difference. I followed his advice and I am glad I did. It's hard to believe that I would have missed the opportunity.
Well, let me give you the race summary. The 1.2 mile swim was the best part of the day. The water was cool and for some reason I had a good line the whole way. There were the normal points along the way when somebody would bump or knock you, but most of the way this was not the case. I did the swim in 38 minutes which is hard to believe considering 2 years ago, I couldn't swim more than one length of the pool.
I came out of the water feeling fresh and my friend Andy was there to give me words of encouragement. Well, sort of. He tells me that I had great swim but Kerry still beat me. It didn't matter to me, I had a smile on my face and was enjoying the event.
The transition area was crowded and I took my time. Kerry and I set out on the bike at the same time and all was well. I had a very clear plan of staying hydrated and this was a key for my day. We got to the first hill and my legs felt good. It was a good steady climb and it turned out to be the place I would make the most ground all day. The climbs have always been a strength for me and I passed a lot of bikers on the hill. I did notice that when there was a long straight away, it was the time trial Tri-bikes that had the advantage. It all evens out in the end.
The bike course is challenging and includes 8 challenging climbs. They are short but steep. I remember climbing "Horseshoe" in my second chain ring but running out of gears. I was a bit surprised when I went to find another gear in the second ring and it wasn't there. I stayed where I was and finished 6 and 7. But I was so thankful as I looked toward the final climb to have the third ring. I needed it!
The bike course was smooth and steady but the last 6 miles seemed uncharacteristically long and difficult. I knew the run was coming and needed some fuel in my tank after 56 miles on the bike. I finished steady and ready for the run.
As is normally the case, your legs feel like concrete after transitioning from the bike to the run. This usually dissipates after the first couple of miles but at mile 3 I was wondering if my legs would ever return. I would check my heart rate and it was good but my legs had lost their strength. It was everything I could do to put one leg in front of the other. I prayed, I sang, I did everything I could to take my mind off of the fact that I had never ran 13 miles in my life and today would be the first...maybe.
One of the experiences that would motivate me was when I encountered a hand cyclist. These were athletes (and I do mean athlete in every sense of the word) who were typically paraplegic. They swam 1.2 miles pulling the dead weight of their legs, they biked 56 miles using their arms to pedal a hand cycle and now they did 13.1 miles pushing the wheels of their chair up the same hills I was doing good to walk up. It was inspiring to say the least. As I admired these athletes, my legs (which I was fortunate to be able to walk on) didn't hurt quite as bad.
The run was as much mental as it was physical for me. Sure, my legs did not feel like they could go the distance but it didn't help when my mind would frequently give its opinion on the matter as well. It was truly hard for me to believe that I would be able to finish, but I kept praying (not just for myself by the way), singing and putting one foot in front of the other.
Just when I thought it couldn't get any more difficult than the first 3 miles of the half marathon, I hit the last 3 miles. Oh my goodness!
It didn't help when more and more people stopped to walk and oh how I wanted to do the same. I was thankful for every watering station because I could walk, take a drink, douse myself with cold water and run to the next station. When I ran out of stations, that meant all I had left was the finish line.
Having never done a race of this distance, I had hoped to finish somewhere between 6 and 7 hours. I hit 6 hours with just 1 mile to go and it was the longest mile of my life. I had done well to race within myself but now I was at the end of myself. I did everything I could to make it. And when I heard the cheer of the crowds, I saw my family and my friend Andy cheering me on, I had a spark of energy. My son Graham ran out to meet me and crossed the finish line by my side. It's hard to believe, but I did it. 70.3 miles! I finished the Half Ironman!
So here is the major lesson I have learned from my experience. The statement is true - IT IS HARD TO BELIEVE. Whether in the Ironman race or the race of life, there are times when circumstances make a convincing argument with your mind that you can't make it. They try to convince you that what you thought was true is actually a lie. Things like I experienced when I thought that I would not be able to physically put one foot in front of the other or that my muscles would cramp up into a ball. Or maybe, more significantly, in the face of a spiritual trial, those same voices try to tell you that your faith is not strong enough, that God is distant and He will not come through. Very simply, in these moments, IT IS HARD TO BELIEVE. But believe we must! We have a great crowd of witnesses cheering us on to the finish line. We see others, those with a much more difficult journey than us, giving all they have. It should inspire us to press on. We should find strength in prayer, in worship and in the things that take our minds away from the circumstances and onto the One who has the strength to carry us through. This was the most important lesson I hope to live as a result of this race:
IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE BUT BELIEVE WE MUST!
Monday, June 18, 2007
Learning to be Content
In Phil. 4:11, Paul says he has "learned to be content in whatever circumstances". This is a truth of scripture that I am still trying to learn. And since it keeps coming up, I assume God intends for me to grow in this area as well.
Whether it is getting the flu the day before vacation, getting an email from my seminary professor indicating that I did not receive notice of a schedule change which moved my class up a week, surprising issues at work (like the ones that could have been prevented had you known about them in the beginning but the first time you find out is when the bottom falls out and your on vacation...sort of), surprises in ministry (like problems in marriages that were hidden until it reached a point where the hearts of both the husband and wife had grown hard). And the list goes on...
They happen most every day and so many times I never see them coming. It reminds of my days playing baseball when I would stand at home plate looking for the fast ball and out of nowhere comes the curve. I never saw it coming. Completely fooled and looking silly.
Maybe part of the answer to these challenges in life is to look for the curve (I never learned to do that in baseball by the way). Expect the unexpected.
This seems to be what God is teaching me lately. I need to be flexible enough to adjust to life's unexpected turns while having faith and trust that God will lead me through whatever circumstance I may encounter.
This is different than my normal course where my tendency is to panic, look to myself to press through the difficulty and ask God to bless MY efforts to turn things around. The inevitable result is failure or exhaustion or disappointment (or all the above).
So God, I come to you with a desire to rest in you, a desire to submit to you, a desire to follow you. May your grace teach me to grow in this area of trust, may your love compel me to walk faithfully, may the fellowship of your Spirit teach me to adjust to life's turns.
Whether it is getting the flu the day before vacation, getting an email from my seminary professor indicating that I did not receive notice of a schedule change which moved my class up a week, surprising issues at work (like the ones that could have been prevented had you known about them in the beginning but the first time you find out is when the bottom falls out and your on vacation...sort of), surprises in ministry (like problems in marriages that were hidden until it reached a point where the hearts of both the husband and wife had grown hard). And the list goes on...
They happen most every day and so many times I never see them coming. It reminds of my days playing baseball when I would stand at home plate looking for the fast ball and out of nowhere comes the curve. I never saw it coming. Completely fooled and looking silly.
Maybe part of the answer to these challenges in life is to look for the curve (I never learned to do that in baseball by the way). Expect the unexpected.
This seems to be what God is teaching me lately. I need to be flexible enough to adjust to life's unexpected turns while having faith and trust that God will lead me through whatever circumstance I may encounter.
This is different than my normal course where my tendency is to panic, look to myself to press through the difficulty and ask God to bless MY efforts to turn things around. The inevitable result is failure or exhaustion or disappointment (or all the above).
So God, I come to you with a desire to rest in you, a desire to submit to you, a desire to follow you. May your grace teach me to grow in this area of trust, may your love compel me to walk faithfully, may the fellowship of your Spirit teach me to adjust to life's turns.
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