It's Hard to Believe!

It's hard to believe that 3 years ago, I walked over with my friend Andy to watch the Buffalo Springs Lake Triathlon. I remember being amazed at the electricity of the event, the mass of people, the hundreds of bikes stacked up in the transition area, the sea of swimmers in the water, the music - the whole thing was something to behold.

At that time, doing a triathlon was not even a thought in my mind. In fact, I remember telling my friend Andy, "I am amazed that these athletes can do this. I can't imagine ever doing anything like this."

Well, who knew that only 2 years later, I would be experiencing the electricity of the event, stacking my bike in the transition area, finding myself in the sea of swimmers and actually competing in the event. It's even hard for me to believe.

The highlight of my day came when my friend Andy, who I started doing triathlons with 2 years ago, showed up at the event. He was not able to participate and had planned to be out of town. To my surprise, as I was getting my transition area set up, he walks up and wishes me luck. Needless to say, I was very nervous at the time, but the unexpected visit of a good friend put a smile on my face that was there most of the day (only to disappear at points to be described later).

I really owe a lot to my friend Kerry who convinced me just one week before the race that I need to do it. I had decided that I would wait another year because the previous 3 weeks of training were not as I had hoped. I had the flu, followed by time in Dallas where I spent most every day in the library, and then there was nothing I could do the week before. But Kerry reminded me that I had come too far not to finish and that with all the training over the previous 10 months, the last 3 weeks would not make a big difference. I followed his advice and I am glad I did. It's hard to believe that I would have missed the opportunity.

Well, let me give you the race summary. The 1.2 mile swim was the best part of the day. The water was cool and for some reason I had a good line the whole way. There were the normal points along the way when somebody would bump or knock you, but most of the way this was not the case. I did the swim in 38 minutes which is hard to believe considering 2 years ago, I couldn't swim more than one length of the pool.

I came out of the water feeling fresh and my friend Andy was there to give me words of encouragement. Well, sort of. He tells me that I had great swim but Kerry still beat me. It didn't matter to me, I had a smile on my face and was enjoying the event.

The transition area was crowded and I took my time. Kerry and I set out on the bike at the same time and all was well. I had a very clear plan of staying hydrated and this was a key for my day. We got to the first hill and my legs felt good. It was a good steady climb and it turned out to be the place I would make the most ground all day. The climbs have always been a strength for me and I passed a lot of bikers on the hill. I did notice that when there was a long straight away, it was the time trial Tri-bikes that had the advantage. It all evens out in the end.

The bike course is challenging and includes 8 challenging climbs. They are short but steep. I remember climbing "Horseshoe" in my second chain ring but running out of gears. I was a bit surprised when I went to find another gear in the second ring and it wasn't there. I stayed where I was and finished 6 and 7. But I was so thankful as I looked toward the final climb to have the third ring. I needed it!

The bike course was smooth and steady but the last 6 miles seemed uncharacteristically long and difficult. I knew the run was coming and needed some fuel in my tank after 56 miles on the bike. I finished steady and ready for the run.

As is normally the case, your legs feel like concrete after transitioning from the bike to the run. This usually dissipates after the first couple of miles but at mile 3 I was wondering if my legs would ever return. I would check my heart rate and it was good but my legs had lost their strength. It was everything I could do to put one leg in front of the other. I prayed, I sang, I did everything I could to take my mind off of the fact that I had never ran 13 miles in my life and today would be the first...maybe.

One of the experiences that would motivate me was when I encountered a hand cyclist. These were athletes (and I do mean athlete in every sense of the word) who were typically paraplegic. They swam 1.2 miles pulling the dead weight of their legs, they biked 56 miles using their arms to pedal a hand cycle and now they did 13.1 miles pushing the wheels of their chair up the same hills I was doing good to walk up. It was inspiring to say the least. As I admired these athletes, my legs (which I was fortunate to be able to walk on) didn't hurt quite as bad.

The run was as much mental as it was physical for me. Sure, my legs did not feel like they could go the distance but it didn't help when my mind would frequently give its opinion on the matter as well. It was truly hard for me to believe that I would be able to finish, but I kept praying (not just for myself by the way), singing and putting one foot in front of the other.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any more difficult than the first 3 miles of the half marathon, I hit the last 3 miles. Oh my goodness!

It didn't help when more and more people stopped to walk and oh how I wanted to do the same. I was thankful for every watering station because I could walk, take a drink, douse myself with cold water and run to the next station. When I ran out of stations, that meant all I had left was the finish line.

Having never done a race of this distance, I had hoped to finish somewhere between 6 and 7 hours. I hit 6 hours with just 1 mile to go and it was the longest mile of my life. I had done well to race within myself but now I was at the end of myself. I did everything I could to make it. And when I heard the cheer of the crowds, I saw my family and my friend Andy cheering me on, I had a spark of energy. My son Graham ran out to meet me and crossed the finish line by my side. It's hard to believe, but I did it. 70.3 miles! I finished the Half Ironman!

So here is the major lesson I have learned from my experience. The statement is true - IT IS HARD TO BELIEVE. Whether in the Ironman race or the race of life, there are times when circumstances make a convincing argument with your mind that you can't make it. They try to convince you that what you thought was true is actually a lie. Things like I experienced when I thought that I would not be able to physically put one foot in front of the other or that my muscles would cramp up into a ball. Or maybe, more significantly, in the face of a spiritual trial, those same voices try to tell you that your faith is not strong enough, that God is distant and He will not come through. Very simply, in these moments, IT IS HARD TO BELIEVE. But believe we must! We have a great crowd of witnesses cheering us on to the finish line. We see others, those with a much more difficult journey than us, giving all they have. It should inspire us to press on. We should find strength in prayer, in worship and in the things that take our minds away from the circumstances and onto the One who has the strength to carry us through. This was the most important lesson I hope to live as a result of this race:

IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE BUT BELIEVE WE MUST!

Learning to be Content

In Phil. 4:11, Paul says he has "learned to be content in whatever circumstances". This is a truth of scripture that I am still trying to learn. And since it keeps coming up, I assume God intends for me to grow in this area as well.
Whether it is getting the flu the day before vacation, getting an email from my seminary professor indicating that I did not receive notice of a schedule change which moved my class up a week, surprising issues at work (like the ones that could have been prevented had you known about them in the beginning but the first time you find out is when the bottom falls out and your on vacation...sort of), surprises in ministry (like problems in marriages that were hidden until it reached a point where the hearts of both the husband and wife had grown hard). And the list goes on...
They happen most every day and so many times I never see them coming. It reminds of my days playing baseball when I would stand at home plate looking for the fast ball and out of nowhere comes the curve. I never saw it coming. Completely fooled and looking silly.
Maybe part of the answer to these challenges in life is to look for the curve (I never learned to do that in baseball by the way). Expect the unexpected.
This seems to be what God is teaching me lately. I need to be flexible enough to adjust to life's unexpected turns while having faith and trust that God will lead me through whatever circumstance I may encounter.
This is different than my normal course where my tendency is to panic, look to myself to press through the difficulty and ask God to bless MY efforts to turn things around. The inevitable result is failure or exhaustion or disappointment (or all the above).
So God, I come to you with a desire to rest in you, a desire to submit to you, a desire to follow you. May your grace teach me to grow in this area of trust, may your love compel me to walk faithfully, may the fellowship of your Spirit teach me to adjust to life's turns.

Run YOUR Race

I did an Olympic Distance Triathlon this weekend. It was my longest distance thus far (1500 meter swim, 40K Bike and 10K Run). I predict that it will become my favorite distance. I now set my sights on the Half Ironman (or the 70.3 as it is called based on the total distance of the event in miles!). Admittedly, I have much work to do between now and June 24th. I reserve the right to pull out if I am not adequately prepared. Only time will tell.

However, I did learn a valuable lesson in this past race that I believe will help me in the Half Ironman or maybe even life in general. The lesson was about consistent focus.
What I have learned in my brief history with triathlons thus far is that no athlete finishes first in all three events. You may see strong swimmers who are not as good on the bike or run. Or maybe strong runners who are not good in the swim. But to date, I have not seen anyone win all 3 legs of the triathlon.

Therefore, I have learned that the key to doing well in a triathlon is consistency. I call this "running your own race". In fact, I have a little mantra that I repeat to stay focused during race when I start to become distracted. I simply tell myself, "I race no one. I run my own race."

You see, the tendency in any part of the race is to race to catch the person in front of you. The problem is, when you do so, you are no longer running your race…you are running their race! I have learned to know when I am at my best pace and then stick to it. On occasion I may catch the person in front of me. Other times, someone catches me. But one thing I know for sure: When I run my race, where I know my best pace and I keep it consistently, the result is always satisfying.

Hebrews 12:1-3 says, " Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

In this verse I see a similar lesson as to what I learned this past week. The key to running with endurance, according to the writer of Hebrews, is fixing our eyes on Jesus. It is a matter of consistent focus. In fact, he goes on to say that Jesus is our example, who, although he had many distractions, did not lose sight of His purpose and plan set before Him. He "ran His race" so to speak. Not wavering based on what others were doing around Him but intently focused on what His Father had set before Him.

I desire to live the same. To run through life with endurance. Not pulling over to park or choosing to sit and say, "I'm not running anymore." Unfortunately we see it all throughout Christiandom. Men and women who give up and choose apathy over endurance.

Therefore, I must lay aside the "extra weight" of the sin that so easily entangles me. I must fix my eyes on Jesus. I must run my race at my best pace by following the path that my Heavenly Father has set before me, fixing my eyes on Him and depending on His power to strengthen me. I pray this would be so for all those who choose to be devoted followers of Jesus.

Finish the Race with Endurance

Runner’s World (8/91), told the story of Beth Anne DeCiantis’s attempt to qualify for the 1992 Olympic Trials marathon. A female runner must complete the 27-mile, 385-yard race in less than two hours, forty-five minutes to compete at the Olympic Trials.
Beth started strong but began having trouble around mile 23. She reached the final straightaway at 243, with just two minutes left to qualify. Two hundred yards from the finish, she stumbled and fell. Dazed, she stayed down for twenty seconds. The crowd was ticking—2:44, less than a minute to go.
Beth Anne staggered to her feet and began walking. Five yards short of the finish, with ten seconds to go, she fell again. She began to crawl, the crowd cheering her on, and crossed the finish line on her hands and knees. Her time? Two hours, 44 minutes, 57 seconds.
Hebrews 12:1 reminds us to run our race with perseverance and never give up.

Well, my finish at the Ransom Canyon Triathlon was not near this dramatic. Thank goodness! It was actaully fun for several reasons. First, I had convinced several people from my workplace to do their first triathlon this year. At several points along the way, I thought they might give up. However, they finished and had a great time. They are ready for another one!

This year was also fun becuase for the first time, I actaully enjoyed the swim. I'm still not very fast in the swim (although I did improve my time by almost 3 minutes!) but as long as I don't have a panic attack and see my life flash before my eyes...its a good day!

Perhaps the best thing this year is that when the race was done, I didn't have a migraine! What a blessing this was. I actually had my best time despite windier conditions than years past and I crossed the finish line with some gas in my tank.

Bottom line...it was a great race.

The only thing missing was my friend Andy. He had a business trip and could not participate this year. It was not the same without him. Afterall, he was the reason I started doing these events to begin with. However, after having crossed the finish line, his wife handed me her phone and I was able to give him the details. I look forward to next year when I can do it in person!

How Low Can You Go?

Have you ever had a time in you life where disappointment seemed to be waiting for you around every corner? You feel ineffective at work. You seem to fade into the background at church. You sense your weakness as a spouse and your shallowness as a parent. A big red neon sign seems to hang over your head flashing “FAILURE”. Or so it seems…

It’s as if someone pulled the release valve when you weren’t looking and all of a sudden, the pressures of the world seem to push all the air out of your spiritual and emotional balloon. Limp and ashamed you feel lost in a cloud of insignificance. Your self-esteem looks like the bullet riddled street sign found along a lonely country road.

“God must be trying to get your attention”, some might suggest.

“Fine”, you respond. “But I really wish He would get on with it.”

Ever been there? I have. More often than I would like to admit.

As I considered this repeating episode in my life, I began to consider what it means to be disappointed. Webster says that disappointment is quite simply: the failure to meet expectations.

OK, fine. But whose expectations? If I seem to be plagued by disappointment, whose expectations am I not meeting? What is the standard I am being judged by?

I know there are times I look to others to determine this standard. I presuppose that my wife would like for me to perform in a certain way in order to demonstrate that I am worthy of her respect and admiration. I assume my sons have a predetermined ideal of the dad they would be proud of and I must strive to match that profile. At work I must be a leader worth following. A person with uncompromising vision and endless ideas for ever increasing levels of success. As an elder, of all people, I need to have the answers. After all, I spend endless hours in Bible study resulting in a flawless theological framework and a firm grip on all things Biblical.

Or perhaps they are my own expectations. Goals I set or objectives I strive to meet. But are they really? What am I using as the acceptable standard for comparison? All too often the expectations I have for myself are determined by the expectations I perceive from others. They are not my own after all. They are an unachievable, always changing, impossibility. The inevitable result…disappointment around every corner.

Yet the Bible repeatedly demonstrates what God does with those of us who struggle with their own inadequacy. Consider for example Elijah, “a man of like passions as we are,” who ran from his enemy Jezebel. Yet when he admitted his fears, God listened and used him powerfully. I think of Jonah, with whom God used dramatic circumstances to gain his attention. In His grace, God still used a bitter, reluctant man to save an entire nation. I think of Paul’s self-seeking contemporaries mentioned in Philippians 1. They were preaching the gospel out of unworthy motives, and were causing Paul distress, yet he acknowledged they were being used by God to spread the Good News.

Even Charles Haddon Spurgeon, one of the greatest preachers in recent history knew well the limitations of his own self. Based on his enormous reputation and accomplishments, many people assume Spurgeon must have experienced great peace, contentment, and prosperity. After all, his dedication to God and the power with which God anointed his life and ministry were obvious. Surely his was a life of satisfaction and fulfillment.

The facts, however, are vastly different. Spurgeon carried a heavy burden throughout his years of ministry. Wrote Richard Day, one of his biographers, “There was one aspect of Spurgeon’s life, glossed over by most of his biographers, that we must now view with utter frankness: he was frequently in the grip of terrific depression.” Further, he was often ill, spending weeks at a time in bed, so many that he told the leaders of his church they ought to replace him. (They wisely chose not to.)[1]

Spurgeon, like the rest of us, was a man of many weaknesses. He had his doubts, his anxieties, his struggles with emotion. He wrestled mightily with the tension between being holy and being human. Yet the God he served is one who seems to specialize in making tremendous use of flawed instruments. I sometimes think, in fact, that God chooses to make the greatest use of those people with the greatest flaws.

In that I take comfort! I remember the Lord’s words to Paul when he says, “My power is made perfect in weakness,”(2 Cor. 12:9) to which Paul responded, as we should, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.… For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Except for Jesus Christ, God has always used flawed instruments. Always. It is a gift of grace I thankfully accept.

[1]Jay Kesler, vol. 13, Being Holy, Being Human : Dealing With the Expectations of Ministry, The Leadership library (Carol Stream, Ill.; Waco, Tex.: CTI; Word Books, 1988), 179.

No One Dies Alone

Our hospital has a wonderful program called No One Dies Alone (NODA). This program was developed because of the many patients who are in our hospital and are critically ill. Often times, their life on earth is nearing an end but they do not have friends or family to be with them during their final hours. The NODA program is designed to give all people the dignity of a peaceful passing by ensuring that a compassionate companion is with them at all times so that no one dies alone.

Today was my first vigil. I arrived in a room where an elderly gentleman lay peacefully in his bed. ( I cannot share his name because of HIPAA so I will simply call him Mr. Glen) Soft music was playing and the compassionate companion who preceded me greeted me and gave me instruction as I would now spend the next hour with this elderly gentleman. I signed in and did the cursory paperwork and then sat next to the bed of my new friend. I introduced myself and let him know that I would right here beside him. I placed my hand on his shoulder to give him comfort in knowing that I was there.

His blood pressure was very low and his breathing was not labored but included long pauses between breathes. His skin was thin and his eyes closed. He was not responsive but I didn't assume that he couldn't hear me as I talked. In fact, I hoped he could.

I wondered what his story was. At 79 years old, what had life taught him? Was he married? Did he have children? If so, why was he alone? These were questions that I would not be able to answer, but it didn't matter, because for some reason God had intended for the two of us to be together for the next few moments.

I spoke gently to my new friend. In the last hours of his life, I felt compelled to tell him about God's wonderful love for him. I thought if anyone, at any hour, needs peace in their soul, only the love of God would truly satisfy. So I shared with Mr. Glen how much we all need that love. And Jesus came to make that possible. If we trust Him and His sacrifice on the cross, we have a peace with God for all eternity. That is the love God wanted him to know.

His breathing increased just slightly. That was the only response I could see.

I didn't know where Mr. Glen was in his faith or if he had faith at all, but I tried to comfort him by reminding him that his trust in Jesus was all that he needed to have the peace and comfort he desired.

His breathing slowed and there was silence as the music continued to play in the background. I wondered how, or even why, he was still alive. What was the motivation of this elderly man to continue to take in breaths of life. So I spoke softly once again.

"Mr. Glen, you can rest in the arms of Jesus. Trust him and he will give you peace. Don't be afraid. You can let go and rest in Him when you are ready. He has something wonderful prepared just for you."

We sat silently for just a few minutes more. His breathing was slow and then silent. As I sat next to the bedside with my hand on his shoulder and a prayer in my heart, Mr. Glen breathed his last. I have to believe he decided to let go and trust in God's wonderful love. Perhaps he knows better than I the peace that passes all understanding.

Thank you Jesus.

Religion in Healthcare

I attended a very informative session today at work where a panel representing various religions gave their representative perspectives on issues related to illness, suffering and death. Interestingly, the topic could not be discussed without giving some perspective of “the after life” and how one achieves the “eternal state”. Here are some highlights from each presentation. Everything written represents quotations from each speaker.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (i.e. Mormon) Jim Johnson, Hospital VP
Mormans believe we all begin as spirit children of God. We come to earth as a necessary part of God’s plan for our “eternal progression”. We are “absolutely Christian”. We believe Jesus is the son of God whose sacrifice gives the ability for this eternal progression. In the end, we will be judged according to our works in this life by the perfect judge, Jesus Christ.
We consider the age of accountability to be 8 years old. Therefore, if a child dies before this time, they are saved by the sacrifice of Jesus. After, the age of 8, they become accountable for their decisions and willingness to obey God. Family relationships are very important in our faith…even eternal.
Death is simply a return to the original spirit state before we received our mortal bodies where we will be judged by or obedience while on earth.

Catholic, Father Malcom Neyland (Hospital Chaplain)
Catholics believe you have always existed. Even from eternity past, when God thought of you, your soul existed. At the moment of conception, the soul is united with the body.
The sacraments of the church were instituted by Christ to procure the grace we need to follow Him. Baptism covers a person up to the “age of reason” after which time another sacrament, confirmation, is practiced to demonstrate one’s personal decision of faith. The other sacraments follow to maintain this good standing. According to tradition, Catholics believe that when baptism is not possible, children are saved by the faith of their parents.
Illness and suffering are both redemptive and salvific.
The first Pope was Peter and the lineage continues from him. There were only 5 infallible statements made by any Pope. Everything else is fallible. These statement were confirmation of scripture such as Jesus was God/man and the existence of the Trinity.

Judaism, Dr. Anne Epstein (Internal Medicine Physician)
The world is broken but it is not up to God alone to restore the world. Jews cooperate with God to repair the world. It is our duty to eliminate evil and suffering. Illness and suffering are evils of nature but not caused by God.
In Judaism, there is no doctrine that people are born into sin. People are born good. In fact, most people are mostly good. Therefore, the soul is not in constant jeopardy in need of redemption. “C” is a passing grade and most people make it into the afterlife just fine. The after life is unclear so those within Judaism focus on this life here and now and not what is to come.
When death occurs, there is no embalming. The body is placed in a wood casket allowing it to return to its natural state of dust.

Church of Christ, Doug Hale (Vandelia Church of Christ)
The Church of Christ movement started 200 years ago as an effort to bring unity to all Christians in America. The system was flawed because the pattern to be restored was the that of the New Testament church and no one could agree on what the Bible had to say. As a result, what was originally intended to bring unity became divisive and narrow. Three groups have evolved from this original movement: (1) Disciples of Christ (2) Independent Christian Churches (3) Church of Christ. There is no central governing authority. Large variability of beliefs and a growing ecumenical view of all Christians.

Seventh Day Adventist, Mike Troxell (Community Minister)
Sin introduced by Adam and Eve and made redemption necessary. God took on humanity in Jesus and His death on the cross gave hope for this redemption. Salvation is by faith alone in this atoning sacrifice. At death, we sleep in the grave until the resurrection.
Adventists prefer a natural means of healthcare when possible and are generally vegetarian. They take stewardship of the earthly body very seriously. The see the body, mind and spiritual components of a person interrelated.

Jehovah’s Witness, Brian Waller (Community Representative)
Name of religion came from Isaiah 43:10. We are Christians. We believe Jesus died for the forgiveness of sins but Jesus and God are not the same. Genesis says let “us” create and Colossians says Jesus was the first born of all creation. We take these literally and view them as separate spiritual beings.
JW’s all spend on average 10-20 hours a month talking to their neighbors about their faith. Every city is divided into territories where this witnessing takes place. This is true for the 6 million followers across the world. Every JW in the hospital is visited every day in every hospital across the world. The same Bible study is done in every congregation on every Sunday across the world.
Most JWs do not look forward to a life in heaven. Earth will be restored to its original paradise and if we live well, we will be in God’s memory to live in His restored paradise.